1.7K SharesMany parents find it superawkward, but it's not only normal, it's healthy. Readers often ask each other how they should respond, especially when kids masturbate in public. There's one fairly common denominator among the responses: teach your child appropriate boundaries without making them feel ashamed. The question is. What's Normal?According to the program, the vast majority of kids discover their genitals and the pleasure they can bring by age 6. While discussions seem to revolve mostly around boys and girls who are in the 10 to 13 range, whatever age your child is at when she or he makes this discovery is the time to start discussing when and where this behavior is appropriate.Carrie A.'
Of course masturbation at that age is different from what it is later in life. Personally I did not even discover the alternative use of that thing between my legs until I was 12 or something. Though I do remember strange sexual urges earlier in life when me and another boy found some porno magazines while playing.
S two kids (ages 10 and 13) have been taught that masturbation is fine in the privacy of their bedroom or bathroom, and not in other places. She has promised them she won't come in without knocking, and she always waits for them to say, 'Come in.' This seems like a, and one that will likely build trust in her family. Door-locking is not allowed in Tisha P.' S home, but her kids, too, know that they have privacy behind the closed doors of their bedrooms. For safety reasons, she has asked her kids to never use objects (only hands), and to wash their hands when they're finished. Beyond that, they are their bodies freely in private.
Should You Respond Differently to Girls vs. Boys?There does, perhaps not surprisingly, seem to be a discrepancy between parental perceptions of boys versus girls when it comes to masturbation. Many moms see it as normal for boys, but somewhat disturbing when girls do it.
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This is likely the result of deep cultural biases that many of us hold unconsciously.Lesley comments that 'we seem to find boys exploring their bodies a much more acceptable practice.' But she has an 11-year-old daughter and adds that she would rather know that her child is exploring her own body rather than ' as her daughter enters her teen years.Eva W. Suggests to moms who have discomfort around this to 'do some soul searching' to try to understand why you have such difficulty accepting what doctors and psychologists say is. In other words, trying to untangle your own hang-ups can go a long way toward helping your child grow up without shame regarding her body.
Eva is walking the talk: she has begun to her 10-year-old twins, as she believes these are related topics that parents should proactively pursue.The common-sense takeaway here is that kids age 10-13 clearly understand that certain things are to be done at certain places and times. For example, we eat dinner in the early evening, at the table in the kitchen. We take a bath in the bathroom before we go to bed. It's not a great leap for them to understand that masturbation, like going to the toilet, is private.How did you handle your child's discovery of masturbation?The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.
Masturbation in childhoodRest assured that masturbation is a healthy part of growing up. The practice can start in infancy and continue right through adulthood. Some baby boys are born with an erection, and some baby girls are born lubricating. Like with adults, children touch themselves “down there” because doing so feels good, even though they can’t yet derive the full pleasure of masturbation by having an orgasm.Most parents stop their children when they catch them playing with themselves. That reaction’s okay, but how the parents put the kibosh on this behavior can be very important to their children’s sexual development.Teaching children that our society frowns on enjoying any form of sexual pleasure in public is fine. Try to pass along this information without giving children the idea that masturbation (or sex) is bad, per se. If you yell at your children when they play with themselves or slap their hands, they’re going to get the wrong message: that sexual pleasure, in and of itself, is bad.
As a result, when these children become adults, they may not allow themselves to fully enjoy sex.You can teach children not to pick their noses in front of others without giving them a complex, so you should be able to do the same thing about touching their “private parts” by saying, “We touch our private parts in private places.” Probably the reason that many parents have difficulties in this particular area is that they were made to feel ashamed when they were little, and they still haven’t overcome those feelings themselves. So parents end up passing on these feelings of shame to their children. But if you can make yourself aware of what you’re doing, then, hopefully, you can tone down the way you admonish your child in order not to give him or her the same sense of shame that you may have. Masturbation in adolescenceAlthough young children are very aware of their sexual organs, as children grow up, they go through what psychiatrist Sigmund Freud termed the latency stage, when they pretty much put sex out of their minds. The latency stage is the period of time when boys think that all girls are yucky, and girls think that all boys are even worse.
At some point — and that point is different for every child (it can start as early as the preteens or not begin until the late teens) — the sex hormones kick in and puberty begins. The child starts to develop what are called the secondary sex characteristics, which include things such as growing pubic hair and developing breasts. At that point, an interest in sex also starts, and that’s when masturbation likely begins.Surveys have shown again and again that boys masturbate more than girls do.
That doesn’t mean that it’s okay for boys and wrong for girls, however. No matter what gender, masturbation is a normal, healthy sexual activity.